This week I’ve been starting my writing sessions by reading Do the Work! by Steven Pressfield. It’s not a great fit for the stage I am currently in with my writing—revision, as it is has a lot of advice about how to just get a first draft of something down. But it’s primarily about resistance and revision is what produces that in me most strongly.
Here is a snippet that really captured the duelling feelings of excitement and panic I feel when I am in the throes of trying to restructure or reframe a piece of writing:
When we are succeeding—that is, when we have begun to overcome our self-doubt and self-sabotage, when we are advancing in our craft and evolving it to a higher level—that’s when panic strikes…When we experience panic, it means we’re about to cross a threshold. We’re poised on the doorstep of a higher plane (76-77).
I can see how that type of thinking could potentially create even more panic, but for me it felt like a reassuring reminder that panic and despair can sit with excitement and ambition.
If your writing or anything else has you down, may I recommend making yourself a playlist of the music you loved most while in high school? I’m not talking about the greatest hits of the 90s or whatever era it was when you were in high school. I don’t mean the most popular song from an album that you liked. I mean the songs you were obsessed with. Try not to worry about whether they are good from your point-of-view today. Many of mine are not. It’s quite embarrassing, actually. If you loved it, go ahead and add it. Most of the songs I loved then continue to be divine, though, like Nirvana’s “Lake of Fire,” Tori Amos’s “Caught a Lite Sneeze,” and “Common People” by Pulp. And while they’re hardly deep cuts (is anything from the 90s?), listening to songs like the title track from the Cranberries’ There’s No Need to Argue vividly reminds me of how much pleasure I got from constantly replaying those specific tracks. You have to trust me that this will give you an instant boost, like an exercise high. Don’t wait. Do it now.
Let me introduce you to the most delicious thing I made recently. A panzanella using barbari bread that I cubed, doused in olive oil, and roasted in the oven. Yes, I know we’re not in tomato season yet, but this was just fine with supermarket cocktail tomatoes. I used two kinds of basil—Persian and Genovese (thanks to my mom’s herb garden) and two kinds of acid—balsamic and this fancy stuff (thanks, Catherine). I also made a bold choice and added freshly picked peas. Try it.
This weekend I plan to make a strawberry dessert or two to celebrate my wonderful spouse’s birthday. And to spend a lot of time listening to 90s Britpop. Tell me what some of your favorite songs were in high school! Have a good weekend.
xoxo,
Sara
I like this idea that when you feel panic that's actually when you're succeeding! I try to tell myself this about being blocked/stuck with writing (my usual state) — that that's actually when you're making the most progress, or about to...