For years I thought that the best way to move forward, get writing done, or achieve basically anything was to go all in, as hardcore as possible. If I didn’t write for 5 hours, then I didn’t really write. If my exercise routine wasn’t very challenging, then it didn’t count and I didn’t actually move my body that day. If I didn’t cook all my food from scratch, then I was somehow failing. If I didn’t meditate every day, ideally at the same time, then there wasn’t any point in doing it at all. Typing this all out, I feel sad and exhausted for that girl. Unsurprisingly, harsh discipline is not motivating. At some point, I felt very, very stuck and knew that I had to find a different way to attend to my various responsibilities, desires, and plans. I landed on one extremely compelling idea that seemed very achievable:
I just had to do a single thing each day, no matter how small. If it was a writing project, I could write one sentence, I could work on my draft for one minute, I could revise one paragraph. As long as I did something rather than nothing, I was making progress.
Trust me, this sounded crazy at the time. One minute? That’s pathetic, said the harsh disciplinarian. Anyone could do more than that. Maybe, but I was trying to do very hard things. Some days I just couldn’t face those rigid unreasonable standards I set for myself. And yet, things needed to get done. By saying I just had to do something, on many days I did much, much more. After adopting this mindset for awhile and keeping track of how many days I did something rather than nothing, I felt heartened by my tenacity. It was only then that I was able to see that what I needed was self-compassion and acceptance, rather than harsh discipline. Seeing my streak was powerful, but it was only possible to get there because I set the bar very low and made it achievable. I made room for the reality of life and that got me unstuck.
This idea can work in various ways. If I’m trying to develop or finish writing, I do as I described above. But let’s say I have some exercise scheduled and I’m just not feeling it. I still do it, but I adjust by (for example) making it low impact and taking the jump out of jumping jacks, or using lighter weights. You can adapt the idea of something rather than nothing in whatever way you need, and apply it to almost anything. My kids are finally at an age where they don’t consider it torture to walk as a pleasurable activity, but we still need to adjust our expectations. On Mother’s Day, I was very, very happy with a 40-minute hike, which was definitely much more than nothing. It was blissful, actually.
xoxo,
Sara
I was just writing something on exactly this same topic / tactic! Though you said it better than I was managing to — I will be quoting you when that piece goes out in a few weeks. Thank you for the lovely inspiration.
This approach has allowed me to be on the road for the last seven months while keeping my serenity and my sanity.